Commitment-phobia Crusader Pillows

"It would never work between us, Lydia - I must go where the four winds take me!"

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

"Yes ... no!"

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

'Don't try to sweet talk me, Eddie! You had your chance yesterday! We are through!'

Hello, Susie, it's R

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

"I'm sorry son, was that, 'I do', or 'please kill me'?"

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

Dating Death

'Wait a minute - This is getting too close for comfort.'

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

"And you're telling me this because?"

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

'..to be your lawfully wedded husband? If so, signify by saying one of the following...'I definitely do', 'I might', 'I don't', or 'I definitely don't'.'

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."