Commitment-phobia Survivor Pillows

'..to be your lawfully wedded husband? If so, signify by saying one of the following...'I definitely do', 'I might', 'I don't', or 'I definitely don't'.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

Hello, Susie, it's R

'Don't try to sweet talk me, Eddie! You had your chance yesterday! We are through!'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

"And you're telling me this because?"

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

Dating Death

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"I'm sorry son, was that, 'I do', or 'please kill me'?"

'It can't last.'

Man on treadmill with one leg in a cast.

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

'I'm going to be a lot more decisive from now on. Well... maybe not a lot more, but at least a little more.'

'Don't you think having a relationship might put a stain on our relationship?'

Would you like it engraved? Yes please put to my one and only love. That way if we break up and she throws it back at me, I can use it on someone else.

"Hey, what if marriages had term limits?"