Commitment-phobe Gurus Gifts

"I'm sorry Jayne, but I've got cold feet."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"Yes ... no!"

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

Dating Death

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

"And you're telling me this because?"

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

'I'm going to be a lot more decisive from now on. Well... maybe not a lot more, but at least a little more.'

'I need a commitment. I don't want to just hang out with you.'

It's not that I don't care for you, but let's face it Larry. You have commitment issues.