Commitment Comedienne Pillows

'And do you promise to not only talk the talk, but also walk the walk?'

Lesbian civil partnership.

A couple dressed as a knife and fork

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

Unconditional Loveseat

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

I'm putting all my eggs in one basket.

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

The Female Brain and The Other One

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

A Reasonable Time for Concern

Various Traps.

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

'I do...with reservations.'

'Joe's really slow to take hint...she's been wearing that dress for two years.'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

'Are you serious? I thought 'For Better or for Worse' was just a comic strip.'

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

"Do you, Amanda and John, promise to watch yourselves, mind your Ps and Qs, and generally step on eggshells in this marriage, in order to somehow keep it up and running for as long as possible?"

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

"Yes, a surprise engagement. Even my husband-to-be here didn't know..."

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

"That's Ms Pitt. She's been entrenched on high alert at the front desk for 42 years."

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'