Commitment Comedy Pillows

Man buying an engagement ring and asking for the lady's name not to be engraved too deep.

'He does.'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

Various Traps.

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

'I just want to be sure to get this right. You met again your imaginary childhood friend and then happened WHAT?'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'I do...with reservations.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

Marriage & Divorce.

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

'Can we just do this pass-fail?'

"A fear of heights, eh? Fear of commitment more like it!"

'I don't like the look of yours...'

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

"Sure, I love you, but I can't stand to be hurt again."

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'No, the answer is: d ) All of the above.'

'Is this a trick question?'

Spark Notes Wedding Vows