Commitment Issues Humorist Pillows

'Deep down, I don't think I'm ready.'

'You've got to help me, Doc -- I keep switching long-distance companies!'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

"Yes ... no!"

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

Various Traps.

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

"A fear of heights, eh? Fear of commitment more like it!"

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"Sure, I love you, but I can't stand to be hurt again."

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

'My client is fine with the nuptial agreement except for section 7a, non parole period!'

'Is this a trick question?'

'No, the answer is: d ) All of the above.'

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

"OK, but I'll have to run it by my husband."

'No, I don't remember asking you to move in with me. Not only that, I don't remember who you are!'

It's not that I don't care for you, but let's face it Larry. You have commitment issues.