Commitment Phobia Humorist Pillows

"I hired out a double for this bit."

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"Yes ... no!"

Various Traps.

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

Hello, Susie, it's R

'Don't try to sweet talk me, Eddie! You had your chance yesterday! We are through!'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

Superhero with Acrophobia

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

"A fear of heights, eh? Fear of commitment more like it!"

'..to be your lawfully wedded husband? If so, signify by saying one of the following...'I definitely do', 'I might', 'I don't', or 'I definitely don't'.'

"Sure, I love you, but I can't stand to be hurt again."

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

'No, the answer is: d ) All of the above.'

'Is this a trick question?'

'My client is fine with the nuptial agreement except for section 7a, non parole period!'

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

"OK, but I'll have to run it by my husband."