Commercial Watcher Pillows

'Hey! -- that Maytag repairman is an impostor!'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'Einsteiners.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Tree house.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'Och lye the news'

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

Before the riots/after the riots

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

'We're there already? I'm still watching my video!'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"Who is the fairest of them all? Well, Madame, the answer comes right after this commercial break! Stay tuned!!"

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

Seatback in upright position, fasten safety belt, listen closely...prepare to be bombarded with promotional advertising through the rest of the flight!

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

It's a Dog's life

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

And here is the day's news that we are going shove down your throat.

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

"No, I'm not doing my homework, but I am watching a YouTube video of someone doing theirs."

'I got my degree by watching JEOPARDY.'

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

It's 10PM. Do you know if you're under electronic surveillance from a spy satellite?

A Youtube video explained what I've been sensing for years: The auto industry is about to implode. It's going so well. But the average incentive per car is soaring. That means they're trying harder and harder to maintain sales. I saw another video that explains why: More and more people are leasing cars, because the lizard people have put fluoride in the water. Just 'cause one Youtube channel's legit, doesn't mean they all are. NASA's in on it too.