Ad Watcher Pillows

Pill for that,

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Bowled over again!

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Tree house.

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'Och lye the news'

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

"Who is the fairest of them all? Well, Madame, the answer comes right after this commercial break! Stay tuned!!"

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

It's a Dog's life

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

Strike 3! 'Dammit - all I can think about is that $5,350,000!'

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

'There's more information available now than ever before. I can only block out so much of it.'

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

'I got my degree by watching JEOPARDY.'

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

"We're ready to give the verdict....after the commercial break."

It's 10PM. Do you know if you're under electronic surveillance from a spy satellite?

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'