Commentary Creator Gifts

'I want to be a weatherman or a pundit. They never have to be right all the time.'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Sports Radio in Crisis

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"Can you hear me now?"

And now, for a rebuttal.

Me when by BDD shows up

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

"This is gonna be great!"

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"Blogs, twitter, social media, politics - we're living in the golden age of being able to say stupid things!"

Chicken standing on a platform on a stage with three horns in front of it and wearing a top hat; a sign on the side of the platform reads "National Endowment for the Arts - Seal of Approval."

"And me without a Twitter account."

Chess on TV

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

The United States of Amazement