Coming To Terms With Aging Pillows

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"We haven't danced in ages."

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

High Pants/Low Pants.

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

'No, thanks. My folks won't let me get any piercings, yet.'

When her hex on ageing failed, Grizelda opted for the mobility - broom.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"Mom, I'm old enough to catch my own worms now. I don't need you to regurgitate them into my mouth anymore."

"So you dreamed you were an adult?"

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Mirror mirror...