Embracing Old Age Pillows

Lady about man in tutu: 'Herb is determined to age gracefully.'

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

'The only part of my body that defies gravity is my age.'

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"We haven't danced in ages."

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

The Final Selfie

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

When her hex on ageing failed, Grizelda opted for the mobility - broom.

Mirror mirror...

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

An old lady has her varicose veins tattooed to look like plants

"I was on hormone replacement for two years before I realized I needed Steve replacement."

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"You're looking for 'Sex After Fifty'? That's in the 'fiction' department."

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

"I find that, the older you get, the bigger your jewelry has to get."

'I can see much grief, suffering and misfortune ahead - and you'll always be dogged by extremely bad luck - but, the good news is you're going to live to a very old age!'

"What's happening to us, Bob? We used to be so issue-oriented."

"Isn't it time you shaved that off?"

'You're getting too old for this game, Scott. ... They say the legs are the first to go.'

Darby and Joan zimmer frame tandem

'I exercised all my life. Took my vitamins, watched my diet, and where did it get me? A major illness at one hundred and four.'

Aged Centaur.

Looking the goods at Christmas in flash new socks and jocks!!

'The last time he jogged past the cemetery, the gravediggers tried to bury him'