Growing Old Together Pillows

Clash Of The Titans

"We haven't danced in ages."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"I noticed a few browns."

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"You're right, they are statins."

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Mirror mirror...

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

A very fine vintage

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

'Come die with me.'

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

When her hex on ageing failed, Grizelda opted for the mobility - broom.

"Miriam keeps me young."

'You look quite distinguished with that gray hare on your head, Jim!'

'No Dear, the Tooth Fairy is long gone. I'm the Hot-Flash Fairy.'