Coming Of Age Storyteller Gifts

Cards. 'Birthday' 'Fake ID'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

True confessions.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

The Family Joules: Part 21

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Children's Party

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

Childrens Books. This pop-up book would make a great 3-D movie!

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

Kirsten Johnson

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'