Teen Storyteller Gifts

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'A dog ate my homework.'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"A homeless person ate my homework."

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"This tire raced in the Indy 500."

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

Children playing in the street

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

Mother Goose Spoilers

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'

The Book Club

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."