Comical Spousal Banterer Gifts

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"I love what you've done with him."

"You say that I love the Liverpool football team more than I love you?...."

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

'What seems to be the problem?'

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

"OK - I'll say it again - I love you even more than my p******* hour."

Wake up! You're hogging all the nails again.

Roach Motel

"Well, I thought installing a kitchen faucet without having to call the plumber was a pretty good 'praise'."

"He complains like a kid over a minor cold. He's such a groan man!"

Man putting his brain in glass before bed.

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

Messages on T-Shirts: 'I'm wrong always' and 'I'm right always'.

"I love you but I love my chocolate fudge sundae more."

'My wife's an optician'

The last argument - Did not/Did too.

"When you have a minute love, my 'new man' t-shirt needs ironing."

'We never go out. We have no social life. We have no income. We have no friends. We're sexually too compatible.'

'Why am I not allowed to use this agricultural road, officer? My wife always calls me 'stupid ox''!

'Always arguing, questioning, no patience, no respect for authority...'

'My wife and I never quarrel...when we disagree on anything, she foes her way and I go her way.'

Man to nose-covering wife: 'I wonder if T. Boone Pickens has an energy use for my natural gas.'

'I forgot my claim ticket, but I had a red blouse, two skirts and a disagreeable husband.'

Moustache lotion

"Sorry about those. My husband always cuts his nails in bed."

'I remember when you used to say the things you don't mean with more meaning.'

'Behind every successful man there's a woman, telling him he isn't successful enough.'

"I clipped his wings, but they grew back."

'I must be in my second childhood -- my wife keeps sending me to bed without supper.'

"You might as well answer me, Henry. I know you're in there."

'This is ridiculous! I say we get back on speaking terms!'