Comical Communicator Pillows

Bob tries out his new sleazeball checker.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Direct Marketing...

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

Target your message

Wordplay: Export.

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

Antler Buzzers.

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

"I appreciate succinct memos, Phillips, but stop writing them all in Haiku!"

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Actually, when I asked you to bring something fresh to the table, I was talking about ideas!'

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

The Curse of Rhadamanthus (For Pete's Sake)

'Don't jump. It's a book publisher!'

"I'm just posting something to my wall."

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

"He took that kinda hard."

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

'I'm dropping you a lion.'