Comical Career Navigator T-Shirts

"You're 30 now. Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Thirty five."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

Between Offices

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

"Trust me, you don't want this job."

Confused drivers

Doubt or Certainy

"I owe my success to always being the lesser of two evils."

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

'I received matching offers.'

'Thanks for not asking for a rise.'

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

"I see myself rising through the ranks of the organization until midlife, when I will most likely hit a wall and go screaming through the door."

"I think we might already have lost the next set of graduates, they don't see us offering a career path..."

"I've seen a number of meteoric career flameouts in my time, but Phil's was sure in a class by itself!"

'Your career is a change management textbook.'

"We live in the desert. What did you think I meant when I said it'd be a nice day to go boating?"

"Any talents besides tasting good?"

Universidad

Up

'Why did you leave your last job?' 'You would too, if they sold your desk and changed all the locks!'

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

'You'll never have to worry about me jumping ship for a better offer.'

'Him? Oh, he's my job interview coach.'

Musical Chairs...

"Study Henderson's career closely. He's made all the mistakes so you don't have to."

"Who do you think you're dealing with, Smith? Does it say 'stupid' on my office door?"

'Oh Great Oz, know of any openings in the marketing field?'

ApplicantsSupplicants.