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NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Between Offices

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

The Hive, Inc. You mean I'll always be a worker, with no chance of advancement?

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

"Trust me, you don't want this job."

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

"You're 30 now. Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Thirty five."

"Use your head, follow your heart and go with your gut."

Doubt or Certainy

"I owe my success to always being the lesser of two evils."

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

"I think we might already have lost the next set of graduates, they don't see us offering a career path..."

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

Out Box

'I received matching offers.'

'Thanks for not asking for a rise.'

'I'm a hunter with gatherer tendencies...'

'The salary isn't much, but the expense account to entertain the boss, ohh-la-la!'

"I see myself rising through the ranks of the organization until midlife, when I will most likely hit a wall and go screaming through the door."

"I've seen a number of meteoric career flameouts in my time, but Phil's was sure in a class by itself!"

'You're overqualified... so you'll have to act stupid.!

'Why did you leave your last job?' 'You would too, if they sold your desk and changed all the locks!'

How to Polish Up Your Resume. Remember, you don't want to polish it to the point you can actually see yourself in it.

'Your career is a change management textbook.'

Universidad