Career Navigator T-Shirts

"I'm sorry. When I told everybody that we started in the mailroom together, I didn't realize you were still there."

'Him? Oh, he's my job interview coach.'

"I've decided to pursue a profession where religion doesn't play such an important role."

"I've seen a number of meteoric career flameouts in my time, but Phil's was sure in a class by itself!"

At a crossroads.

Musical Chairs...

Doubt or Certainy

'Do you have any employers references?'

"I'd like you to find a new employer for my financial director."

'Well true to my word, here's your reference.'

What I planned for my life/What actually happened.

"I've taken the liberty of telling my dying mother that I already got the job."

"Study Henderson's career closely. He's made all the mistakes so you don't have to."

College of Arts and Sciences (and a few things to fall back on).

"I owe my success to always being the lesser of two evils."

'I read your resume. It's good, but I prefer reading non fiction.'

Today is the first day of the rest of your life and you are here...

'We can't find a small enough company where you'd be a big fish.'

'You'll never have to worry about me jumping ship for a better offer.'

'We're going to hire you on a trial basis. You'll work without pay for the next 20 years. If you do a good job, we'll hire you.'

'If you do hire me, how old will I have to be before I can take the early retirement?'

One day you'll look back and be proud that you were part of the Golden Age of Lyoffs.

'I received matching offers.'

'Oh Great Oz, know of any openings in the marketing field?'

'Your career is a change management textbook.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"You're buggered."

"It appears you're a bit overqualified to be exploited, but somewhat underqualified to exploit others."

"Originally I was resting before I was between engagements... I'm out of work now and next month I'll be counted as unemployed."

"I'm sending you to a job hunting seminar. Trust me when I say you're going to need it."

"Law or Accountancy? What d'you want to do - make money or count money?"

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

"So what would you like to do if you weren't superintendent anymore?"

Job Relocation

"I want you to share any concerns you have about customer care and I'll see if I can do anything about your whining not completely destroying your career."