Career Navigator Gifts

"I'm sorry. When I told everybody that we started in the mailroom together, I didn't realize you were still there."

"By the way, clean out your desk means your fired."

"I've decided to pursue a profession where religion doesn't play such an important role."

'Him? Oh, he's my job interview coach.'

At a crossroads.

Musical Chairs...

Doubt or Certainy

'Do you have any employers references?'

'Well true to my word, here's your reference.'

"I'd like you to find a new employer for my financial director."

"I've seen a number of meteoric career flameouts in my time, but Phil's was sure in a class by itself!"

"I've taken the liberty of telling my dying mother that I already got the job."

College of Arts and Sciences (and a few things to fall back on).

What I planned for my life/What actually happened.

"Study Henderson's career closely. He's made all the mistakes so you don't have to."

"I owe my success to always being the lesser of two evils."

"Originally I was resting before I was between engagements... I'm out of work now and next month I'll be counted as unemployed."

"What a well-written resume! I could use someone like you to write our job dismissal letters."

Job Relocation

Now Hiring

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

"You'll like this work contract. . . It says so in the third clause."

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

"I want you to share any concerns you have about customer care and I'll see if I can do anything about your whining not completely destroying your career."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life and you are here...

One day you'll look back and be proud that you were part of the Golden Age of Lyoffs.

'I received matching offers.'

'Your career is a change management textbook.'

'Oh Great Oz, know of any openings in the marketing field?'

'If you do hire me, how old will I have to be before I can take the early retirement?'

'We're going to hire you on a trial basis. You'll work without pay for the next 20 years. If you do a good job, we'll hire you.'

'You'll never have to worry about me jumping ship for a better offer.'

'We can't find a small enough company where you'd be a big fish.'

'I read your resume. It's good, but I prefer reading non fiction.'