Career Navigators Gifts

...What if I promise to only use half my brain?

'Sometimes I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day -- but I wouldn't list it under 'career goals.'

When asked what impresses them least in a candidate, most interviewers cite 'not listening to the question'...

'Dang! Is seeing into the future required for this job?'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Between Offices

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Ace headhunters.

Planned service changes

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

"Trust me, you don't want this job."

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"At the moment I'm torn between the emotionally rewarding but poorly resourced role of a social worker or a more intellectualy rigorous career in quantum physics."