Comic Warrior Gifts

'I can't remember for the life of me why I came upstairs.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"I'm working from home today."

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

Second lifeReal life.

The Tiger Tank that came to Safari Tea.

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

'Before I undertake my journey, I require you to make me a warrior's headband.'

Cartoonist Stabbed By Censorship Swords

The sofa freshly made up...

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

Alcoholics Anonymous - 'Nowadays every bottle seems to say 'drink me'.'

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

If you think that's good, you should see the Pork Sabre!

I'm color blind, please help.

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."

Too Much Plastic.

"I have a right to disagree! You can't force me to use logic."

"We don't need a digital security guard. Hackers don't actually come to our house."

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

Come to bed, Snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points and then told him his parents don't love him because he's illiterate! How nice you've found a hobby. I feel so nurtured.

Joan of Arch

Nude Beach/Perv Bluff

'These online fantasy worlds are great fun. I can be ‘Dave the Accountant' from Birmingham.'

'I'm pleased to announce the newly-created 'Office of Homepage Security' - to protect against computer hackers.'

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"