Comic Relief Chefs Pillows

Chef De Party.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

Tourist in the desert

Break Glass in Case of Stress

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

'I thought too many cooks spoiled the broth.'

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

'Would that be rare, or medium rare?'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'Nothing to worry about, Mr. Jenkins, some people do have a mild reaction to the flu shot!'

Do you think I have a problem delegating?

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

'20 of medical opinion may change every five years...but it wont be the 20 that says smoking 20 a day and being 5 stone overweight is bad for you.'

Welcome to California. You may begin your Schwarzenegger imitation now