Comic Relief Champ Pillows

'Joan, now you've gone and upset our aggressor... by laughing at him!'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

"Touché"

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

The First Printed Bible

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

Break Glass in Case of Stress

Tourist in the desert

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

"I don't want to alarm you, but it seems that what you have on your back may actually be my backpack."

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

When clowns run out ammunition.

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

"I've changed my mind"

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

"You've got pussyfooting from 10 to 11, shilly-shallying until 12, then hemming and hawing the rest of the afternoon."

'Nothing to worry about, Mr. Jenkins, some people do have a mild reaction to the flu shot!'

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'