Comic Relief Participant Pillows

"In this issue, Madru casts a mindless zombie spell on his enemies."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

The First Printed Bible

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

Break Glass in Case of Stress

Tourist in the desert

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

"We pay the living dead wage."

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'Nothing to worry about, Mr. Jenkins, some people do have a mild reaction to the flu shot!'

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

'We have an objection from Mrs. Weber...'

How's my driving?