Comic Relief Guru Pillows

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

"Touché"

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

The First Printed Bible

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

'No no!! Not that one... The BIG one on the top shelf!!'

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

Break Glass in Case of Stress

Tourist in the desert

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

When clowns run out ammunition.

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

"I've changed my mind"