Comic Relief Champ Gifts

'Joan, now you've gone and upset our aggressor... by laughing at him!'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

"Touché"

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

The First Printed Bible

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

Break Glass in Case of Stress

Tourist in the desert

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

When clowns run out ammunition.

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"I don't want to alarm you, but it seems that what you have on your back may actually be my backpack."

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

"I've changed my mind"

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

"You've got pussyfooting from 10 to 11, shilly-shallying until 12, then hemming and hawing the rest of the afternoon."

'Nothing to worry about, Mr. Jenkins, some people do have a mild reaction to the flu shot!'