Comic Relief Specialist Gifts

"We've separated... She took the dog... I got the leash."

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

The First Printed Bible

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

The earlier, less publicized discovery of gravity by Corblatt.

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

Break Glass in Case of Stress

Tourist in the desert

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'Nothing to worry about, Mr. Jenkins, some people do have a mild reaction to the flu shot!'

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

Birdcage and Man cover their heads at nighttime.

How's my driving?

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

"It's a wheeble or some such thing, but still no sign of a deoderant."