Comic Relief Master Gifts

'We're gonna beat the crap out of the Smallton Men's Group.'

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

You Are Here

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"Touché"

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

The First Printed Bible

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

'No no!! Not that one... The BIG one on the top shelf!!'

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

'You've come a long way with your anger this year. In fact, I feel that you are ready to meet a special friend of mine...'

"I don't know, what do you want to do today?"

Break Glass in Case of Stress

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

Tourist in the desert