Comic Judge Gifts

"I find in favour of Aggie's Day Care. Defendant is ordered to sit in the corner for one hour."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'Court's in recess!'

Nerd tryouts.

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

'Judge Mental.'

Judge

Unnatural Selection.

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

"So, I’d love for us to think of this as less of a trial and more of a curated trial experience."

"And what's more, you have a complete disrespect for the law."

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

"My attorney feels it's unwise for me to continue to represent you."

'Promise to tell the truth, including the parts you'd prefer to keep for an upcoming book or movie deal?'

"Looks like they're going to have a dog fight."

Perpetual motion car

"I know you insisted on getting off here, but this area is for employees only. Are you sure you know where you're going?"

"I forgot to call in dead."

'STANDARD AMERICAN MOONDOGGIE'

'...Plus thirty days for not turning off your damn cell phone!'

The US Supreme Court displays its rulings out front.