Comic Collectors Gifts

"There you are. I've been looking all over for you."

'Doctor, I'm tired all the time.'

"Look, I'd like to help, but I've just got too much on my plate right now."

'My mom says it's okay to talk to strangers as long as they're not Accountants or CEOs.'

'Could you repeat the question?'

'I checked with accounting and there's no missin' treasure, so I'm not sure what ye mean when ye say the scoundrel touched yar booty.'

"Birds talk about birdwatchers."

Pandora’s Boxing Glove

'I'll take the number 7.'

'I'm 364720181, but you can just call me 36.'

'These homework patches reduce your cravings. This one is 'Chemistry,' but you can get them in any subject.'

Employees must wash hands.

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

'There were some cost overruns on the project that we need to discuss.'

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

"Where did you say you studied liposuction?"

'Coloring outside the lines -- What are you in for?'

"It's not discriminating, I just don't believe he's 18!"

Fairy Tales in Pandemic Time

"Mummy why are your hands so soft?"

'Mom...Dad...I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Candy.'

'When are these fools going to get it through their thick skulls?... You can't fight city hall.'

Humpty dumpty, the wall and the banana peel.

"We've just fallen below the poverty level rich people."

'Yes, you're right... This dinner invitation from the French Embassy is highly suspicious!'

'Don't get me wrong - hell is awful, but it could be so much more hellish. We have much to learn from them.'

'Sure you can have another opinion but I still say you are a fat pig.'

Cats. All they do is eat and sleep. Truth is, they don't even do that well.

'We learned in school today that the Constitution is politically incorrect.'

'What really burns me up...they made us buy tickets.'

"Mind if I shoot through?"

"Let me guess - PPI refunds, double glazing or, a tele-sales survey?"

'Argh, Harold, what happened to you?'

Line for the women's restroom vs. line for the men's restroom

'Tell me about your feelings of alienation.'