Comics Collector Gifts

Goldilocks suing the 3 bears

'Yeah, we take shopping vouchers.'

'Hello, I'm your new neighbour. May I borrow a cup of sugar, please?'

'We've agreed to approve your loan if you can promise us first dibs on your liver.'

Blah, blah, blah. Just once he'd like to have someone walk in and start frothing at the mouth.

'He has lost the will to plunder, money-grub, back-stab...'

"One problem is we have a clash of styles."

"I'm sorry, you overused all caps."

Smoke rings coming through the door of a Smokers Anonymous meeting.

'I've been working zero hours for years.'

'Don't you see, Bruno, your promotion from goon to vice-president-charge-of-busting-heads is just an empty title without a pay raise!'

"She just rolled over and started snoring!"

Bipolar Therapy Clinic feedback card.

GOP Cry Babies!

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel...let down your hair ball."

"Guys, this circular is in today's paper...except the people over there messed it up! Our coolant is $7.99, not $1, battery chargers are $39.99, not $9.99...and hydraulic jacks are $29.99 not $2."

"My math teacher is always finding mistakes in my work."

"He's got great leadership skills. Wherever he's taking us, it's got to be better than where we've been."

"I had it all... money, a big house, fancy car, the love of a beautiful woman... and then POW! ... my wife found out!"

Mines in Morocco

"And because I buy so irresponsibly, I pass the fleecing onto you."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Donald the Cowboy

'The Paranoid Hyena.'

"Any woman saying I disrespected her is a lyin' bimbo, okay?"

"It's Him. he wants us to lay off until the Fruit Board has published this year's crop results."

'Well, it's time to leave this cold world. Follow me to where it's always warm and comfortable - the chip pan.'

Death Guard

"Mother, I'd like you to meet a civilian."