Comics Collector Pillows

Goldilocks suing the 3 bears

'Yeah, we take shopping vouchers.'

'I have a hunch! Sell all my Google stocks and buy Old 'Barney Google' Comic Books!'

'Hello, I'm your new neighbour. May I borrow a cup of sugar, please?'

'We've agreed to approve your loan if you can promise us first dibs on your liver.'

Blah, blah, blah. Just once he'd like to have someone walk in and start frothing at the mouth.

'He has lost the will to plunder, money-grub, back-stab...'

"One problem is we have a clash of styles."

"I'm sorry, you overused all caps."

Smoke rings coming through the door of a Smokers Anonymous meeting.

Fox TV rewrites Genesis: 'Adam, we have created a home for you, & we call it, 'Temptation Island'.'

'I've been working zero hours for years.'

Moth in spotlight

'Don't you see, Bruno, your promotion from goon to vice-president-charge-of-busting-heads is just an empty title without a pay raise!'

"She just rolled over and started snoring!"

Bipolar Therapy Clinic feedback card.

GOP Cry Babies!

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel...let down your hair ball."

"Guys, this circular is in today's paper...except the people over there messed it up! Our coolant is $7.99, not $1, battery chargers are $39.99, not $9.99...and hydraulic jacks are $29.99 not $2."

"My math teacher is always finding mistakes in my work."

"He's got great leadership skills. Wherever he's taking us, it's got to be better than where we've been."

"I had it all... money, a big house, fancy car, the love of a beautiful woman... and then POW! ... my wife found out!"

Mines in Morocco

"And because I buy so irresponsibly, I pass the fleecing onto you."

You short-changed me when I paid for my drink last week. Are you sure? Of course I'm sure. You gave me change for $10, but I know I gave you more than a ten-dollar bill. Sorry about that. How much did you give me? I distinctly remember I had nothing but $1,000 bills in my wallet. Not falling for it.

Freedom Ain't Free

Why Don't Democrats Scream About Trump's Tax Cuts for the Rich? There's a Good Reason.

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Donald the Cowboy

It's not a facelift! It's evolution!

I've figured out why Vladimir Putin is so belligerent toward us. It's his last name. In the west, it's been the subject of jokes for decades. A thing like that would make anyone cranky and hostile, and eager to punish anyone who doesn't take them seriously. Good point. I remember in grade school, there was a kid named "Ima Stinkbottom." She became an IRS auditor. I rest my case.

Julius, I said you could have an occasional sleepover, but I said nothing about a m�nage � trois.

Jimmy's not a member of our rewards program.

Sanctuary!

'The Paranoid Hyena.'