Comic Collecting Gifts

"Why have you got your boobs on your back?"

Jimmy got out of the whole lemonade stand business and targeted a smaller, more lucrative demographic.

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'We've had to set-up a Call Centre to handle all our nuisance calls.'

'Except for his testosterone level being out of whack, Frankie is a normal 7-year-old.'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

In those four out of five doctors' commercials, I'm the fifth doctor.

'Oh boy, you've grown alright! Better be careful though: From now on, they won't throw you back...'

"What we need is a damn good PR man"

'Hey, dude. Did you get a look at this sign?'

"Why not? After all, you're not being paid a living wage."

'I'm bored.'

Santa wouldn't forget the Corleone's presents again...

'Just junk mail this morning, sir.'

Pesticide Bunny: Mom! Bunny is eating the pesticide sprayed grass again!

'We're up S**t Creek without a paddle! YAY!'

Test: Guess who will suffer the most to reduce the deficit?

'That should put a stop to them.'

'Have you noticed? There are more and more pussies in the rat race!'

Lend me a fiver - "Careful Dempster, this swamp is crawling with leeches."

Beggars panhandling on sidewalk.

'Where you will be hanged until 'deadish'.'

"Now I know we're in Hell!"

'Better close your eyes, Miss, I'm cleaning the windows!'

Popeye in the maternity waiting room "It's a buoy"

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"I've decided to waive my bonus and hold out for a dismissal for incompetence. It pays even better!"

"We already gave at the office."

"I've got him! I've got him!...Now what?"

Cariactures

"How do I stay so trim? Portion control. One, two skyscrapers, tops."

"I can't tell if Ed is taking a long time to line up his shot... Or if he fell asleep again!"

"... So now Noah's running around grabbing two of each animal in sight! What a nut!"

Deaths in motor racing

"So who was your favorite lady wrestler back in the day?"