Comic Collecting Pillows

"Why have you got your boobs on your back?"

Jimmy got out of the whole lemonade stand business and targeted a smaller, more lucrative demographic.

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'We've had to set-up a Call Centre to handle all our nuisance calls.'

'Except for his testosterone level being out of whack, Frankie is a normal 7-year-old.'

Dennis',Peanuts'creators dead

In those four out of five doctors' commercials, I'm the fifth doctor.

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

'I wish I was still wearing size 32 underwear.'

'Oh boy, you've grown alright! Better be careful though: From now on, they won't throw you back...'

'Hey, dude. Did you get a look at this sign?'

'So this is where the heart is...'

Santa wouldn't forget the Corleone's presents again...

'I'm bored.'

"Why not? After all, you're not being paid a living wage."

"What we need is a damn good PR man"

'Just junk mail this morning, sir.'

Cariactures

"I can't tell if Ed is taking a long time to line up his shot... Or if he fell asleep again!"

"One more peep out of you and you will be on the endangered list."

"So who was your favorite lady wrestler back in the day?"

Deaths in motor racing

"... So now Noah's running around grabbing two of each animal in sight! What a nut!"

Test: Guess who will suffer the most to reduce the deficit?

'Where you will be hanged until 'deadish'.'

'That should put a stop to them.'

"Now I know we're in Hell!"

'Better close your eyes, Miss, I'm cleaning the windows!'

Popeye in the maternity waiting room "It's a buoy"

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'We're up S**t Creek without a paddle! YAY!'

Beggars panhandling on sidewalk.

Lend me a fiver - "Careful Dempster, this swamp is crawling with leeches."

'Have you noticed? There are more and more pussies in the rat race!'

Pesticide Bunny: Mom! Bunny is eating the pesticide sprayed grass again!