Comic Chaos Seeker T-Shirts

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

No littering...

The Alpha Seltzer

Super Heroes.

My God, I need to fart.

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

"Eat me"

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Stubborn Horse

When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"What part of 'giddyup' don't you understand?"

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'