Comic Chaos Seeker Gifts

"Woo-hoo! Grog finally nail pesky fly!"

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

The Alpha Seltzer

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

Super Heroes.

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

"Eat me"

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

No littering...

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

My God, I need to fart.

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Stubborn Horse

When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

"What part of 'giddyup' don't you understand?"