Comedic Chaos Seeker T-Shirts

"Worst opening act ever. Did you know what a vuvuzela is?" "What?"

"What do you mean, 'has your lesson started yet'?... I thought you were the driving instructor!"

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

Breast Height Chart

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

Cat doctor to cat patient sitting on exam table 'All I'm saying is liposuction won't help if you don't lay off the tuna smoothies.'

'That time of year, eh Ben, don't know whether to go hunting or fishing?'

"When I said the surgery was minimally invasive I wasn't talking about your finances."

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Pirate Paddle Boat.

How cats see their home

"Call me a hopeless romantic, but I assumed he was just inviting me."

"You keep him busy while I go for help."

'Until you remember where you put the ladder, be quiet!'

'It's your lucky day. I just went vegan.'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

Still hip, but not much hop.

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'An optician was having a closing down sale...I got the last pair!'