Comic Absurdist Pillows

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

Boomerang cow.

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

Franz Kafka

Eugene Ionesco

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

A Centaur Taking A Shower

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

I think the speed grazing record is in the bag!

'I just found out that our credit union is illusory!'

'We try to only make bad loans to good people.'

"Sorry, Jeff. This just isn't working as I'd hoped."

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

"I'm so glad you suggested we insert his heart on Valentine's Day!"

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

"What wine goes best with vodka?"