Absurdist Comic Appreciation Pillows

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

Monster Clown

Eugene Ionesco

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

'Normally, seafood is good for you.'

A Centaur Taking A Shower

"Sorry, Jeff. This just isn't working as I'd hoped."

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

One afternoon on mars.

The Old Man and the Noodle.

'That's no lady - she hasn't even shaved her armpits.'

"Another impulse purchase?"

'I get a lot of job offers..'

"Gregor, you idiot… leftover Applebee's in bed."

"It's a smaller, less destructive nuclear weapon, but it's also a hat."

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

Performance Artist, Performance Spectator

'It was the only white thing I had.'

Godot Bound And Gagged In A Dark Office

"It's perfect."

"To be honest Henry, I think I preferred your early brutalist potato period."

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

Sorry Jerry, you've gone all muffly. Have you been shat on again?

'Sorry folks, Tractor Beam's broken. We'll have to use a tractor piece of rope.'