Absurdist Humor Admirer Pillows

'Looks like it rained again in the night.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Optimist

Zoo: No Hunting.

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

Boomerang cow.

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

Monster Clown

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

Franz Kafka

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Eugene Ionesco

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"Is it OK if I turn the humidifier up a bit?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

A Centaur Taking A Shower

"I've been having hallucinations again, Doctor."