Comedy Spaceman Gifts

Space X Crew Dragon

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Save Our Universe

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

"Sir, a bunch of bald-headed, castrated humanoids wearing Nikes just materialised with their luggage back there."

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

"I told you it was a book you couldn't put down."

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

"It's Houston. They have a problem."

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

"Okay, haha, very funny, you guys. Now toss down the ladder."

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'Sir, we're receiving a signal from space. It might be a candidate for possible intelligent alien life!' 'Nice going you ninny, you butt-dialled Earth! Now they're going to know we exist!'

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

'That must be the guy from corporate.'

'The kids were rebelling against the new school uniform policy, so we had to make some design changes.'

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

'It's nothing personal, Donald; I just need more space.'

First attempt at the Big Bang

Moon's Portaloo.

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"This is where you'll be sleeping."

'I've had a toothache for the last million light years, take me to your dentist.'

"The Webb telescope can look FAR back in time to before things were a bit s**t!"

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

Black Hole Corks

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."