Comedy Show Devotees Gifts

Cat turning telly off with remote.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"That'll be five bucks."

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Unemotional Support Animal

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

The First Fire Stick

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"It's true: no more burpees."

Stairlift around cliff face.

Theatre Crowd

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Divine Desk Bins

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

Stormy weather

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

"Very Presidential."

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"