Comedy Diver Pillows

"Why do they always do that with the concrete? The feet are the best part."

'Harp?...Lark?...'

"But they taste so rubbery!"

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Tom Cruise

Confused drivers

Casual skydiving.

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

'Time ou! ... Flea!'

Fish: 'WHOA,Gesundheit!' / A Fish has sneezed out all of his scales

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

Shark in the swimming pool.

"Isn't that Hank's mask?"

"What's a nice plaice like you, doing in a girl like this...?"

'I said to come in 'full scuba gear', not 'Scooby gear'!'

"Oh, sure, Mr. Nice Guy robot, bringing in the pastries...we get fat and you just sit there, charging your batteries!"

'Have you done any stand-up?'

'Every school has a class clown.'

'He arrested two kids yesterday. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other off!'

"No arguments. You've got an interview tomorrow and you need to be really smart."

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

"What have I told you about shoplifting, son!"

'No, I'm not strictly catch-and-release.'

'I took a short cut.'

Octopus Manicure.

"I showed Tia Carmen these really funny cartoons I drew...but she didn't laugh."

'Well, this is embarrassing.'

You're so lucky, my stripes make me look fat.

'You're a little overweight.'

Man caught in fishing lines

'Water? What's that? I've never heard of it!'

"He gets cranky if I don't fill in my timesheet every week, and believe me, you don't want to get him cranky!"

Troubled water.