Comedy Diver T-Shirts

"Why do they always do that with the concrete? The feet are the best part."

'Harp?...Lark?...'

"But they taste so rubbery!"

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Tom Cruise

Confused drivers

Casual skydiving.

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

'Time ou! ... Flea!'

Fish: 'WHOA,Gesundheit!' / A Fish has sneezed out all of his scales

"What's a nice plaice like you, doing in a girl like this...?"

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

"Isn't that Hank's mask?"

Shark in the swimming pool.

'I said to come in 'full scuba gear', not 'Scooby gear'!'

'Have you done any stand-up?'

"Oh, sure, Mr. Nice Guy robot, bringing in the pastries...we get fat and you just sit there, charging your batteries!"

'Every school has a class clown.'

'He arrested two kids yesterday. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other off!'

"No arguments. You've got an interview tomorrow and you need to be really smart."

'No, I'm not strictly catch-and-release.'

"What have I told you about shoplifting, son!"

'I took a short cut.'

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

"I showed Tia Carmen these really funny cartoons I drew...but she didn't laugh."

'You're a little overweight.'

You're so lucky, my stripes make me look fat.

'Well, this is embarrassing.'

Octopus Manicure.

Man caught in fishing lines

'Water? What's that? I've never heard of it!'

"He gets cranky if I don't fill in my timesheet every week, and believe me, you don't want to get him cranky!"