Comedy Combatant Gifts

Women's Martial Arts Center

"Kung Flu Fighting."

Death never accounted for Mrs O'Grady's handbag.

'Play it again, Sam.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

Internet Cafe.

"Hack back with all you've got!"

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

Martial Arts

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

'You daft cow...I said I needed some company and was out for a duck!'

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

It was supposed to be a friendly takeover?

'And the gold medal goes to...'

'I don't think his fists can take much more of the punishment your head's inflicting on them.'

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

'Listen, I know that nose was what made me famous, but it also led to me being typecast. I'm hoping this change helps me get more diverse roles.'

Man fights with his shadow.

When paperwork attacks.

'Now look what you've done. I told you that I wanted a fair fight... making fun of his trunks is hitting below the belt.'

"Why do you keep saying MY pride is going to get the best of me?"

Javelin

Heimlich's other lesser known maneuver.

'Knee him in the groin - it always works.'

"I didn't want to tell you like this, but I'm going solo..."

'I'm taking you off the javelin - you throw it way too high!'

The Pole Jumper.

'You've hit the bull.'

"What? You got something funny to say?"

'I like boxing when there's lots and lots of dancing. And very little hitting.'

Maybe we should do a big check next time. Sweepstak … 5 five.

'After this event, I want him tested. Blood, urine, DNA - the works. Look for anything unusual.'