Colloquial Combatant Gifts

"English is a living language and is still evolving."

Women's Martial Arts Center

"Hack back with all you've got!"

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

'This always seems to happen on your night to cook.'

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

It was supposed to be a friendly takeover?

Pizza Fencing

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

Wild Irv Moskowitz, the meanest deli-man in the West.

'Now look what you've done. I told you that I wanted a fair fight... making fun of his trunks is hitting below the belt.'

When paperwork attacks.

Chef's duel.

"He's a man of his word, and that word is 'dude.'"

'Do you think the poem will lose some of its gravitas if I use the term 'brown bread'?'

"Sweetie, words have the power to hurt. I'll teach you some of the most effective ones."

A chocolate tart topped with lingonberries and infused with belligerent self-confidence.

Food Wars: "Thrilla in Peekskilla"

Computer fight.

'They say it's a loophole in the law, sarge - we can't evict them because those things aren't tents, they're articles of clothing.'

Death never accounted for Mrs O'Grady's handbag.

"Kung Flu Fighting."

'Hounds don't work. Release the lawyers.'

'Friday morning is no good for me- I'll be settling someone's hash!'

X-tra Large Pipe Cleaners.

"'Oh, bother' now and then is nothing to worry about, but a 'For Cryin' Out Loud' could mean trouble!"

"That's not what I meant by cover my ass, Henderson!"

Hot dog vendor with military-style equipment.

"I thought chess club would be less violent."

Thanksgiving Boxing Ring