Colloquial Combatant T-Shirts

"English is a living language and is still evolving."

Women's Martial Arts Center

"Hack back with all you've got!"

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

'This always seems to happen on your night to cook.'

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

It was supposed to be a friendly takeover?

"It's the Garden Street book club. They wanna rumble!"

Pizza Fencing

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'Well, I'm sorry. But your mother criticized my chicken casserole one too many times.'

Wild Irv Moskowitz, the meanest deli-man in the West.

'Now look what you've done. I told you that I wanted a fair fight... making fun of his trunks is hitting below the belt.'

"Who's going to carve?"

When paperwork attacks.

Chef's duel.

'Do you think the poem will lose some of its gravitas if I use the term 'brown bread'?'

A chocolate tart topped with lingonberries and infused with belligerent self-confidence.

"He's a man of his word, and that word is 'dude.'"

"Sweetie, words have the power to hurt. I'll teach you some of the most effective ones."

Food Wars: "Thrilla in Peekskilla"

Computer fight.

'They say it's a loophole in the law, sarge - we can't evict them because those things aren't tents, they're articles of clothing.'

Death never accounted for Mrs O'Grady's handbag.

"Kung Flu Fighting."

'Hounds don't work. Release the lawyers.'

'Friday morning is no good for me- I'll be settling someone's hash!'

X-tra Large Pipe Cleaners.

"I thought chess club would be less violent."

"'Oh, bother' now and then is nothing to worry about, but a 'For Cryin' Out Loud' could mean trouble!"

"That's not what I meant by cover my ass, Henderson!"

Hot dog vendor with military-style equipment.

Thanksgiving Boxing Ring