Comedy Club Enthusiast Gifts

"Would you like to try them out?"

"Well, Jackie, when I bloated up and hit middle age my TV career fell apart and I turned to drugs, and I really gave to say drugs were very good to me and gave me a second chance at life -- until handguns came along."

Wedding. Frank is so bad people can't stop looking. It's dancing with the stares!

'...And in local weather, Ken's cologne has clashed with Trish's hair spray, causing a thunder shower over the news desk.'

"Boy, that performance stunk!"

Strippo - Sorry: Clothed For Lunch!

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Zombie standup

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Dog Walking Services

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Skiing.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Intelligent people laugh too!

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."